Posts Tagged ‘Thinking’


April 30, 2018

The infallible Pope, oh sorry, I mean the fallible Pope. No one is infallible but God.

The Big Cover Up, from top to bottom.

I have a soft spot for the Catholic Church. For one they are a more thinking than a feeling church.

The modern churches like the Pentecostals are mostly about feelings. I like to use the mind more than the heart. I like to reflect in thoughts. To guide ones life by feelings rather than thoughts can be a irrational life. An irrational life is a life led without reason. God is a God of reason He does everything for a reason.

The head should rule the body. In the past we had the Catholic contemplatives. These people were mostly Monks, they meditated in thought, they prayed deeply. I like to call my meditations, reflections. Pentecostals and a lot of the Protestant churches are not known for contemplating. In this fast world we need to slow down and think. We need to reflect. We need to reason. But we need a solid strong foundation to think on. The only true souls solid foundation is Jesus Christ in Spirit in the heart. The heart is what we base our thoughts on. The thoughts are in the mind, the soul, in the head, but the foundation is the heart. To have thoughts on a weak foundation make for weak thoughts. We want strong wrists.

I am not a Roman Catholic member. But I see the value of a headship over heartship. The heart should not steer the ship. The engine of a ship does not steer the ship. The heart should not steer the body. The heart is the engine but the head person steers the ship. The head person is in charge. The engine person the engineer is not overall in charge of the ship. The captain the head person does not lead does not steer from in the engine room. The head is not in the heart. The captain rules from above the engine near the top of the ship (where he can see). The head rules the body from the top (the head has the eyes). The Catholics rule more from the head more so than the modern Protestant churches.

I married a Catholic woman. A woman loving, family, children, Mary Mother of Jesus and Jesus. My wife puts family before herself. I have it good marrying such a woman. My wife so unselfish.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.



March 20, 2018

Chess used to be my game of choice. I used to love the deep thinking I did when playing my opponents. I don’t play chess now have not for a very long time except there was two games I played not long ago. Do I miss playing chess? Not really, chess takes a lot of thought to me and I prefer to do internet preaching with my thinking.

I get these inspired thoughts now and then I sense the need to share these thoughts and do so over the Internet. It’s like a lake, someone makes the lake water ripple. The water ripples, there are small waves, especially waves rippling from the centre of the lake to its fringes. Same with me, I get ripples of thought building up in my thinking. I sense I must express these thoughts, they are my inspired thoughts.

Chess requires deep thought. Why a person like me who was no good at schooling, I was no intelligent scholar at school, college etc, was able to be good at chess I don’t know. In chess I am not a fast mover, I like a long time to think over each move. I have to think out all the possibilities. I make my move only after exhausting every possibility then I know I have a good chance to win the game. I play to win, I hate losing.

Heard of automatic writing. People do do it. But heard of automatic chess playing, no; I have done it. I have played an entire chess game which went on for some time (at one sitting) and I won just by automatic moving the chess pieces. I played no loser, my opponent knew the game well and he was intelligent.

Amazing ha. We live inside our flesh and bone bodies. It’s the thinking and living from the inner person.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


January 18, 2018

Dad was a free thinker. Dad was an opened minded person. Dad was a thinker. Dad once told me he was enlightened. So did this mean Dad had an enlightened soul?

I used to fellowship with fundamentalist Christians. We were all young and we thought we knew it all. The older people knew nothing to us, we had God, we were the chosen. Okay we were the chosen but our attitude stunk of bigotry. We were religious zealots. We had religious zeal and thought we were always right.

I eventually left fundamentalism. I mean everything comes to a head, and it was coming to a head to me, my life was coming to a head. A head means forward and the head is above, so it was forward to above, above the body. The head rules the body, the head has the brains. But my former fundamentalist friends and peers seemed to have not come to a head, some may have but for a lot coming to a head did not happen; why did they not come to a head? When we cook or heat, the heat rises, the froth rises, we get a head on a beer when poured, things go up that is natural, heat makes things go up. So when God heats us up with His Spirit we too go up. We have a fire in our heart, a spiritual fire. Smoke goes up. Jesus went up. Jesus rose. The soul finds that it is in the head, up. Immature Christianity is staying with the fundamentals and not realising a risen soul in head.

Dad told me that fundamentalism is immature.

I used to be immature. We all start immature. But we move ahead (Head), we move away from our reliance on our body to reliance on our head. We use our brains. God is our brains. God uses our brains. Pentecostals are fundamentalists, they hate leading from the soul. So does that mean the soul is in the head? Obviously so. So the head does not rule for the Pentecostals. If the head does not rule then the brains do not rule, ha? What does rule for the Pentecostals? The heart? They will say the Holy Spirit rules. To my knowing the Holy Spirit comes down from the God head in to the heart. The Father God and Son God in the Head send the Holy Spirit in to the heart. So the Pentecostals have the Holy Spirit ruling from the heart, not from the stomach as some might think, the guts do not rule. Is it natural for the heart to rule? Does the heart have brains? Not to my knowledge, I mean Pentecostals are clever, well they think they are; I used to mix with them and they knew everything about God, or they thought they did; and are not Pentecostals full of religious zeal that borders on bigotry.

Fundamentalism is a young people’s organisation. The Pentecostals are mostly young people. The Pentecostals are young and immature. And they are bigots, they think they know Gods understanding.

Does the Holy Spirit rule? And rule what? Why did God send the Holy Spirit in to the elects hearts? Why do Pentecostals emphasise the Holy Spirit over God the Father and God the Son the Lord Jesus Christ. Does the the Father God and the Lord Jesus Christ rule from above? Not so to the Pentecostals. To the Pentecostals the Holy Spirit rules all. I thought the Holy Spirit was sent from above to help us in human spirit in this world. But helping and ruling can be two different things. Yes the Holy Spirit can rule but in my books the Holy Spirit gives honour to the Father and His Son. And the Son Jesus gives honour to the Father God. The Holy Spirit even prays to the Father God above. The Father God and Son God rule from above. If we are soul above and are saved and are free from the spirits of this world, all spirits are like a foot stool at our feet, we reign with Christ above, does that mean our soul reigns with Christ? What does our saved soul do in its salvation? The Pentecostal yells “You are a soulish Christian, we are Spiritual Christians”. So I am a man of the mind not the heart. The mind is where the soul is. The mind with the soul is in the head. The soul is in the brain area. A soulish Christian to a Pentecostal is wrong, it’s akin to evil.

What makes the Pentecostal Christian think he or she is Spiritual? Pentecostals are for the Charismatic gifts. Many Pentecostals speak in the gift of tongues. Pentecostals think that to speak in tongues, having that gift, means they are saved. Pentecostals those who speak in tongues even think that all peoples who do not have the speaking in tongues gift are not saved by God. So we get bigotry here. Bigotry leads to arrogance, such leads to pride and pride leads to a fall. Adam and Eve had a fall. Fall in grace. Jesus restores our grace.

Pentecostals don’t like using the word “Conversion”. Pentecostals won’t speak or write about the conversion of the soul. The Pentecostals are about “born again”. And what is “born again’? Who understands born again. To me born again is about spirit not soul. I thought Jesus saved the soul not saved the human spirit. On our death the human spirit, a person spirit, a God given spirit, the spark of our life, lives in the heart, comes from above, goes back to God, is it used again I don’t know, but the soul is us in thoughts and in soul we the saved live for eternity. It’s essentially about WORDS. We live on in Words. Words are what we use in soul. Words save our souls. God is essentially in WORDS. We think in words in our soul. We think in words for eternity. In our new state in the Second Coming of Christ we transcend our physical body and all physical. The next life is in a new state, we transcend to the new state. We are still alive in the next life, we are like the Angels, but we are more than Angels, we are children sons and daughters of the Supreme God. Angels are not children of God, Angels are ministering spirits. Angels are servants of God.

Apostle Paul warned Christians about the charisma gifts; he said it is better to speak prophecy than to speak in tongues. Paul emphasised that to uplift the mind (soul) with words is better than speaking in tongues that just edifies the tongue speaker and not others. Paul though did say that it was ok to speak in tongues but it was better to have an interpretation of the tongues to edify others. To be honest I find tongues annoys my mind/soul; why? Because I can not understand what is being said. Tongues does not help me. I prefer not to listen to tongues. Then again Pentecostals with the gift of tongues might find all my writings annoying to them. Do they find me all just blah blah blah? Even if Pentecostals do find my writings annoying I won’t stop writing. Why are Pentecostals so fixated on spiritual rather than the soul? Most speak in tongues and they think speaking in tongues is the Holy Spirit and is a sign that they are saved. We are not saved according to them, we the non speakers in tongues. So there’s bigotry on behalf of Pentecostals.

I was called a Chief Prophet. “Blah blah blah” people might say. “You witness according to your own self, what qualification do you have to say you are a Prophet? What authority gave you the right to call yourself a Prophet”? Jesus was also accused by the religious of his time as witnessing for himself. Jesus said to these religious “I witness and I have another witness my Father”. Then the religious accused Jesus of blasphemy “How dare you call yourself the Son of God”.

So prophecy is good for the edifying of the body of Christ whereas the gift of speaking in tongues is only good for edifying the speaker unless they have an interpretation of the tongues. I prefer prophecy by far.

So if I am a true Prophet of God I have my witness in God above. I like to think I am a Wise Prophet. Fear God. God punishes those who He loves, He hopes by punishing they the offender will turn from his her foolishness. So if God punishes you be glad, just be thankful that you are not punished for doing good, because Evil hates good and God never punishes you if you do good. Use your head, use your brain, use your senses in your head, do not rely on feelings too much. Don’t think that gifts will save you. Gifts are for helping. Jesus saves, Jesus is the head.

A Prophet is a SEER. He or she sees.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


May 29, 2017

So mankind is his/her worst enemy.

You may say “Speak for yourself”. 

I say “I do speak for myself”.

I quote Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me……….”.

We have both evil and good in our hearts. 

We have a choice to do good or evil. 

As I age I get wiser. My mind in my older age is more rational. I don’t let feelings control me or lead me. I use my head more. I don’t let my body rule me. My head is in charge. I think. 
Oh that might be a dirty word to some “think”. In my time with the Pentecostal Christians (call them fundamentalists because that is what they are) it was thought as unGodly to think. So if I don’t think what do I use then, feelings? Pentecostals are about emotions, don’t think, don’t think with reason. So in the Pentecostal fundamentalist churches it’s about hyped up music to cater to your emotions. Emotions are about feelings. The heart is in control not the head. Don’t use the mind use the spirit in the heart. 
But spirit in human kind, the human spirit, can be so vicious and fierce. You cross a fundamentalist and they can be vicious in their spirit to you. Human spirit can be so hateful. Their spirit can be a dagger in to your heart. People use their fierce human spirit to strike down other people. Pentecostals call this attacking people with their human spirit “Spiritual warfare”. These attackers can be so unmerciful that they think to attack you in spirit is Gods will and they will attack until they have you submitted even to death if need be.
I have come across human spirits that are wise. Even call them pure. They are clean. They look sinless. I have on occasion discerned human spirit in people. I must have a gift to do this. A gift that lets me see these things. Don’t for one minute think that the person with the clean, pure, wise human spirit has to be attractive, strong, sexy, on the outside. They can be such but on the outside they usually are plain. Plain looks. It’s like a very precious stone set in a very plain setting. It’s not the setting that is of value it’s the stone in the setting that is valuable. The gift inside our human body is the gift or gifts from God. Gifts can be spiritual gifts, they are spirit, they are the genius behind our thoughts, these genie spirits come from above, all good things come from above, these genie (genius) spirits come from God. Genie is spirit. A so called talented person is talented with genius (genie spirits, gifts) from God. 
A talented person knows their talent is genius but they also know that apart from the talent they are just a simple person, it’s the talent that is precious, they are nothing apart from the talent, they are nothing apart from God. The person who boasts about their talent is being stupid.
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


December 13, 2016

An article says that the Pope is not being black or white in relation to the truth he puts out.

My thinking says the very top leader has to be black and white. There must be no dark or grey area in the top thinking. The top is the peak and has to be sharp edged. Peaks are not meant to be blunt but sharp. The peak is above the clouds of doom and gloom, at the top you must see all. You are over all, over all sins, you are in the full light at the top. 
The Pope to be a true leader needs to be sharp and that means being this or that, right or wrong, light or dark, there are no compromises. 
But to be at the top and sharp means knowing ALL the truth. 
The Pope does not know all the truth. 
Jesus Christ is ALL sharp and sees ALL, knows ALL, so Jesus can preach/teach straight truth. 
The Pope may have the MIND OF CHRIST but his mind still is in shadows. Is the Pope not in the full light? Who is? Who can say they are in the total light of God? 
The Pope does not know all. The Pope is no King Solomon. So the Catholics are still in some sense the blind leading the blind. Oh the Catholics know plenty but not all. 
No one knows about homosexuality. Are homosexuals not Gods people? Are homosexuals the product of human wisdom and not Christ’s wisdom? We have strong wrists to work with, we weed out our minds and hearts, we plant seeds of words in minds and hearts, we need strong wrists to plant, weed and harvest. Are homosexuals the man made artificial product? Who knows for sure? No one. 
We need our leaders to lead from black and white. We need sharp leaders. We need our leaders to know all Gods wisdom. Knowing is knowing God. Leaders who are strong leaders are wise leaders. Wisdom of God sharpens ones mind up. Who is all wise? Few can say they are very wise. People covet the human wisdom rather than Christ wisdom. The Catholics pursue human wisdom and Christ’s wisdom. Wisdom has to be iron not wood. Nature is wood. Nature lovers are wooden. Prophets of God have iron strong spirits. 
Women cover their heads. The women’s longish hair is the women’s cover on her head. The women covers her body. Body cover and head cover for the women is to glory the man’s head. The man’s head is not to be covered. The man’s head is to glory God and the women’s head is to glory the man. Now a days this Christ wisdom of man and woman and headship is mostly perverted. The man now glories a lot in the women’s body and not in his headship of Christ. The women use their bodies to desecrate the wisdom of Christ. The women break the power of the man’s power in his head. The head should rule not the body. The women in charge of the man is seen by the man as seeing her body. Bodies ruling the head is unnatural and perverted. The Christ wisdom of man and woman was made to bring good sense to the church and to the world. The church needs to acknowledge that the wisdom of Christ is true. Women in charge of men in the church is not natural. A lot of church people are perverted now. The man has lost his naturalness in God. The man has lost his headship in his family. The man must be the leader in the family. There has to be one leader. Two leaders in a family make for friction and stress. But the man must have the wisdom of Christ and be loving as Christ is loving to the Church. The man is Christ in his family, the woman must submit to the man as the church submits to Christ. The woman ruling the family instead of the man is unnatural. 
The church is full of perversion now. 
Women want to lead. Women leading make useless mothers to their children and useless lovers to their husbands. The man can not love his wife if she does not submit. Now it’s the the man submitting to the woman. Perverse. So man and woman in love use unnaturalness in their love. The man is made impotent, the man loses his natural power because the woman wants the power. The power is in the head. The brain has the powers. The heart is just a pump. The brain is alive. Muscle is not the true power, God is the true power in Spirit and head. Words are the true power. Words are in spirit and head. Mind over matter. 
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.

THE BRAIN – and its thinking 

July 27, 2016

The brain has two hemispheres. One brain two main parts. Humans are homosapiens, we think. Only humans think in ALL creation. The words were given only to humans. God is the ultimate supreme WORDS. GODS Words are our plumb line for our own words. 

Gods words keep us in a good frame of reference so if we go outside Gods framework we lean towards the insane. It’s sane to think within Gods truth. Truth is identified as sane. God is all truth. Humans were given the words because humans are in the image of their creator God. Humans were chosen to be with God. We commune and communicate with God with words. 
We stand on our words, meaning our words are what we are and if we use bad words then we stand on bad words and then our foundation of words we make becomes unsteady. If we make our foundation, what we stand on, strong then we get through life more safely and enjoyable. Using Gods Words as our foundation secures us a good standing in the community and a better stable life. Truth is our best foundation but fools stand on a shaky foundation, fools lie. The foundation we build will be tested over time as the winds come and go. The dogs will attack. The snakes will bite. The wise build with Gods Words. Gods words are like a secure fortress. 
Thinking is where it’s at. “We are what we think”. You think, I think, we think, and we think together. There is a “sea of thoughts”. Everywhere we go we are in this sea. It’s a sea of words.
The brain has two parts. Left and right part. We have two types of thinking. The left side of the brain is the words side. It’s words words and words. The right side of the brain is the objective side. 
Left is subjective and right is objective.
It’s easier to think of the God Head. We have a head and we are part of the greater God head. 
Jesus sits on the right hand side in heaven, right of God the Father. The Father God is in WORDS only. Jesus on the right side is in physical with Words. This is an ANALOGY to explain our head as against the God Head. The God Head has the Father God, the Son God Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit God. The God Head has three persons but each the same and each making up the ONE God Head. The God Head sits with us as we are a God head but not the God Head. We carry God in us. God within, Emanuel. The Holy Spirit is in our heart and God the Father and Jesus the Son are above. We are not God, we die to our old selves, we are a new person in Christ. 
Our right brain thinking is based on Christ’s thinking. Our left brain thinking is based on the Father Gods thinking. The Word reigns both sides of the brain but the Father is more honoured than the Son so maybe the left side of the brain might be more dominant. I know the father is always more honoured than the son. King David said “The Lord said to my Lord sit at my right hand side until I put all your enemies under your feet”. David is speaking about what is going on with him in his mind and heart. David had insight. 
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


October 22, 2015

Tutorial class at university.
Smithers what do you think?

Yes I agree with the conventional thought, animals do think.

Murray what do you think?

My question is, do animals in Japan think in Japanese?

Murray are you trying to make a mockery of this class?

No Sir I am simply trying to put all this in perspective.

So you think animals do not think?

I ask another question, do animals in the USA think in English?

Murray do you think animals think?

You say it’s conventional belief that animals think. I don’t agree. I think that animals as in all creatures apart from humans do not have soul so they do not think. The true conventional belief is that animals are thoughtless as are birds, fish and insects and all such live by instinct. 

Ok Murray why has convention changed here?

I think man in many cases man has lost his mind. We live like we are ourselves thoughtless. We have lost our connection with soul. Losing our connection with soul we lose our connection with thoughts and words. Man is becoming all materialistic. Man worships money. Man is becoming as thoughtless as other creatures. Man is living on instinct. 

Smithers what do you think of Murray’s answers?

I think Murray has lost it. Murray has not followed the wisdom of the great thinkers from the Greek philosophers until now. We know animals think. We humans are wise now we know.

Murray you have heard it. I agree we humans are wise now. We know so much now. Murray you need to change your ideas or you will fall behind. 

Murray looks at the teacher. Murray perceives that the teacher is a farmer. Murray asks himself in thought, “what is a farmer doing teaching at university”?

Class over.

Later that day.

Hi Murray.

Hi Jones.

Hey Murray word is getting around that you will fail your science class.


It’s true. You better wizen up. The professor says you just don’t have the intelligence. 

Murray thinks, “That farmer, what right has a farmer to pass judgment on my intelligence”?
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


January 17, 2014

Today I had an interesting episode. It happened in the briefest of time but I have mulled over it in my mind a few times since. I am a thinker. There must be a lot of thinkers in this world. I mean thinking can be a very nice thing to do. I have thought many interesting enlightening things over my time.

In my former state of “lost soul” and “depraved mind” I did not have enlightened thoughts; how could I? I then was not in the light of God, I was in the dark, my spirit and soul were full of sin either it be just my sins or both my sins and the sins of my ancestors passed down to me; what we call generational sins (the bible calls it generational sins). So dirty nest, dirty people. Dirty parents, dirty nest, dirty children and so forth continuing on down the generations. BUT this cycle of sins through generations of families can stop at the CROSS of JESUS CHRIST. So we can become part of the washed people.

Back to my interesting episode; I was thinking and I thought this episode and my enlightened thinking about it deserves public mention; why? Because the enlightenment brought about by this episode may help people better understand God and people. I was in this large department store in the city. I was walking along and saw someone I instantly recognised though I had to look a few intent times to make sure I was right in my analysis of who it was. But I was quite sure it was who I thought it was. This man was dressed very casually I mean even his shirt was hanging out which to me seemed odd as I knew this man, especially in the past, would not on occasions like this walked around so casually dressed. What I mean this man used to be a big profile figure in Australia, he used to be a member of parliament for a lot of his previous life. He was a high ranking Federal cabinet minister for many years. So such a person in the past used to be in the public eye and so he would have dressed more fitting incase media for example were around. He in his time dined and wined with nations Presidents and Prime Ministers. Now he gave up all this status and maybe pomp to settle for a regular job. I mean he did surprise a lot of people when he retired from politics; he surprised even me. I had respect for this man in how he handled himself and others during his reign at the so called top. He had very important positions in Government. I think he was generally well liked and may have made a good Prime Minister one day. So I see this man, just for a minute or two. But I see more than what I see with the physical eye. I see and think. I consider; a man that has a decent nature. I don’t see evil. It is like I see him but really see him. I wonder here is a man that mixed with the so called high flyers of the world. I thought what could be his real true God given calling, and it came to me a “Shoe Salesman”. I thought yes his face matches exactly what I would consider a shoe salesman would truly look like in the face. But I thought; but this man has been high up in politics and Government surely he can not really be a shoe salesman. But no I thought he looked like a shoe salesman and the match to me looks right. I thought, how can people like this man be informed of their true God calling? I thought no they can not. How can you tell a high flyer that you are a shoe salesman? The problem always comes down to money. I considered and thought it was money that is the issue of career choices. Shoe salesman do not get big pay like a politician. Now I understand the man in question is now a practicing lawyer. Lawyers earn big money. So people love money more than they love God. And Satan deceives people. Satan obviously does not want people to serve God. Maybe there is a metaphorical veil over the people of the world.

So what is it about me and discerning people’s true God callings. I think people on a whole would turn on me if I told them their true calling. And the people that were in their true calling and I confirm this to them would probably be indifferent to me. The ones not in Gods calling might voice their concerns about my so called state of mind if I told them their true calling. Alas such is what we humans are like. We put Jesus on the cross, we put thorns on Jesus head, we said “Jesus has a demon in him”, we said to Jesus “you tried to save others save yourself”. THE WORLD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. Now Jesus while still alive on the cross prayed to the Father God saying “forgive them (all of us the people) for they do not understand”. Sad but true we the world still do not understand. It is easier to say “Jesus is mad he has a demon in him” than to understand. And does the world really want to understand?

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


November 14, 2013

Today I received the regular Perth bible college newsletter. It comes out every so often and the college posts me a copy. Yes I was a student at Perth Bible college, whoopee. It sounds good to some, Bible college. And I lived on campus in quite nice accommodation and the campus grounds had lovely lawns and shrubs, trees etc. Living on campus was my highlight. It’s nice especially because I was single then I was among people day and night who were on the whole sensible people. Such people you would expect were in to prayer and reading the bible. I enjoy my faith in God; I believed the whole salvation message and still do. I love the idea of a supreme creator God who lives above.

Now I have not always been a Christian believer; I came one in about 1979. It was like I was destined to be a believer in God and a follower of Jesus Christ. But when I was young I knew very little about God and His Son Jesus. God put a desire in to my heart to go to university in 1979. There I met a man that had the integrity and belief in God that helped me to get in to a relationship with God. This man taught me the salvation message of Christ. This man had the good morals that went with a faith in the almighty. He was faithful and loyal to God. After I accepted Christ as my saviour this man was blessed by God; he got married to a really nice lady and God gave enough money through a building society lottery gift for this couple to buy a new home. He was blessed no two ways about it. This man introduced me to the church that he attended and I began attending this church. I was baptised and joined as a member. The minister of this church was quite understanding. But a few years down the track his church flock (not all) turned against him. A church meeting was held to vote the minister out of office of this church. But before the vote took place the minister got a message through to the meeting giving his resignation. Poor show I thought, why did this all happen. The minister was good to me. The church Elders elected a new minister a man that was then overseas as a missionary. This man came back to New Zealand and took up the ministry of this church. But this man died a few years later, he left behind a young wife and young children. I can not remember what caused this mans death. But in hindsight I think the church did a very bad thing to the first minister.

So I was a Christian and in 1999 I applied to be a student at Perth Bible College. I was asked to attend the college for an interview. I arrived at the college, I was enraptured by the beautiful lawns and gardens. The buildings were all semi modern and nice looking. There were many accommodation units all looking modern. I liked what I saw. I came to the administration block walked in and spoke to the receptionist. I was asked to sit down in the foyer and wait. I sat next to a lady; she seemed about 4 or 5 years younger than me and I guessed she also was enrolling to be a student, we both would be mature students older than most students studying here. I introduced myself with my Christian name trying to be nice. But lo and behold this lady was not nice. “Miss Burfoot to you” (not her real name) in a raised voice. I mean what was she on about. I was a Christian and I presumed she was a Christian, does that not make us brother and sister in The Lord Jesus Christ. Am I missing something here? Reminds me of when I was living with my parents, my mother said “Pray and pass the ammunition”. Meaning church is really about fighting each other with words. This lady seemed spiteful and I had never met her before in my life. It was not a good start for her and I tried to avoid her for all my years at college. Yes she was single and I was single. Maybe she thought I was going to come on to her, like pursue her, but what for? I was single and my intentions were honourable to her.

Here I was now at college, a full time student and cleaning toilets. Yes I was a college toilet cleaner. But you might say were you not a student, you know walked around with a halo and gave off importance. No I was never important at college. But you were learning, why clean toilets? The college had no paid servants other than the teachers. So someone had to clean the toilets and that someone was me against my wishes. Each Friday for 3 hours all full time students had to work on the college; cleaning, gardening, admin, whatever. That brings me back to the lady mentioned above Miss Burfoot. I had more problems with her. But she was aided by another lady a teacher. The teacher here a lady was in charge of some cleaning details and I was in one of those details. This teacher a single lady a bit older than me chose Miss Burfoot to be her supervisor. Miss Burfoot just checked people’s work, I never saw her do any works while she supervised. But I had trouble here. A lot of times I would be cleaning the men’s toilets and then my heart would get vexed. Something was upsetting my heart. Not too long into this vexation the teacher and Miss Burfoot would turn up at my place of cleaning and go through a thorough check on my cleaning. I knew when I got the vexation that it was these 2 ladies vexing me. It was not a pleasant job cleaning toilets and it was more unpleasant having 2 ladies load more work on me and think it was funny. This teacher was the one that had assigned me to toilet cleaning. Next term came again and I was hoping that I would be assigned to a different duty but no this teacher assigned me toilet cleaning again. I had already done months of toilet cleaning and now had to do months more. I went to this teachers office and complained. She obliging did move me to another duty. But the student a male that replaced me on toilet duty did not have problems with the teacher and Miss Burfoot checking up on him. This student was left alone. Talking about vexation, I get vexed a lot, sometimes I can work out who the trouble makers are. I do remember another vexing time at college in the class room. A student sat next to me and while the teacher in front was speaking this student was trying to talk to me. I just wish that student did not talk it was a bother. I mean the teacher was teaching. Now I picked up a vexation in my heart. As soon as the vexation came the teacher addressed me to be quiet. Did I feel bad. I wish that student next to me had kept quiet he caused me to look bad. I had another run in with the single lady teacher. In class we were discussing the merits of teachers teaching about other religions in class. In college only one religion was taught and that was Christianity. I mentioned that universities taught comparative religions, comparing different religions. But this teacher shot my idea down with flames and then the vexation in my heart. It was a strong vexation. I knew it was vexing coming from this teacher. She now looked cross. I knew our hearts had connected and she was suffering. The class finished we went outside to the courtyard for tea and coffee during class break. This teacher came up to me looked at me and said in a loud emotionally charged voice that I was arrogant. And there were a group of people here. I did not go back to her class for a few days or was it one day; she found me in the library and apologised to me. I went back to her classes.

Bible College never taught me any insights. I learnt college is a place where the intelligent people succeed. It’s more about exercising ones intelligence than learning new insights. Schools favour the intelligent students. I learnt that to get the qualification it was about being clever at doing assignments and exams. I learnt the art of doing assignments. I learnt how to learn for exams. It was just about assignments and exams and just attending classes. I learnt word processing on a computer. I learnt how to format essays on the computer. But I never really learnt anything new from the bible. Humanism was big in the teaching at college. I had to work hard it was like big heavy boulders were put on my back. Each year students had to buy many text books as part of their studies, this was a requirement, and the books were big text books and cost lots of money. I hardly ever read these text books. When I left college I gave just about all of them away for free. I did quite well at assignments and exams. I passed with good marks. But now I do not remember anything that I actually learnt from those studies. It seemed all about Just getting good marks in assignments and exams. I was awed by some of the students who seemed to be so intelligent. And yes these intelligent students were like the teachers pets. Teachers seem to love intelligent students, the less intelligent students seem to just be in the way. Teachers give the intelligent students responsible leader positions. No toilet cleaning for the higher intelligent students.

So was bible college halcyon days? They were in part because living on college campus was a nice experience. I made friends and was never lonely. The social life was great. Always something happening, no boredom. I passed my qualification. I really never learnt what I wanted to learn, I wanted to learn straight insights, I wanted none of the humanism, I did not want mans teaching, I wanted good direct insights that were Godly. I wanted the truth taught to me. College maybe is a place not to give you the truth but to guide you to find the truth yourself and think for yourself. Maybe I wanted teachers to teach me direct truth rather than for me to find it. I found out that I could not think like all the other students and teachers, my thinking wanted straight direct, not like up and down; up and down to me was weak thinking, not strong, I want my wrists to be super strong not weak. So to get on a roll in bible college thinking was not natural to me. Such thinking was weak. I think of teachers in the way past before bible college that I have perceived and I saw uninspiring teachers, they gave off a look of dryness in their knowledge, they seemed wooden in spiritual strength, they had no fountain of Wisdom in their hearts. How can you learn from such teachers? To be the strength of wood to me is weak; it may look strong; I mean wood can be a good weapon, but God in Word is strong as iron, and I can not accept anything but the spiritual strength of iron. Wood alludes to nature, it is about creation rather than the creator, its about the body and not the head, wood is created its about nature, and nature is about Mother Nature. So these wooden spiritual strength people worship Mother Nature rather than God above. For them its about mother first and then father. They love the mother more than the father. In a crises they may call out to the mother for help.

I left college but was I better for it? I knew that bible college was far better than my school college in my teens. Bible college did give good support. Teachers did care about their students. There was love and help from students and staff.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.

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