Posts Tagged ‘homophobia’


November 13, 2015

When I gave my life to God through Jesus Christ, that was way back in 1979, I came in to the church, my eyes and ears were opened and the HOLY SPIRIT came in to my heart and helped me. BUT in my awakening I found that there were all these words that were trying to get in to my head and stay there. Previously in my dead spirit life I did not know what was being pushed in to my mind. I was like dim in light, maybe I was living in the dark. I lived in the dark according to spiritual understanding, I knew just about nothing in this area. I perceived little.
But in my prison of spiritual darkness I did not know what was going on because I could not see as I did not have any light. What light I did have in spirit must have been so little.
When I gained the HOLY SPIRIT and my life then started upwards and as I lived on the light increased and over the years my body and head are like full of light and getting more light as I age.
Here I was coming in to the light and in this light I became aware of all the words that were being planted in my mind. I became aware of a sense of being called poof (as in gay) and lazy. It was like I was a poof and I was lazy. Over time slowly, a few years, these words went away. They retired and then on the whole these words went away BUT it took years for these words to go. I felt like I was in a spiritual battle, fighting off words. These words I was fighting off in spirit were bad words, evil, they were words only enemies would say. So I had enemies. The HOLY SPIRIT led me in my battle, helping me come in to the true light and truth. Eventually like now my enemies are few and the many I obviously had in the past have been defeated. But it was not hate that defeated my enemies, my enemies were defeated by love, love of God through Jesus Christ.
I sympathise with gays because I think I was the hitting board for many people thinking and saying I was gay. See I never married until I was 47 years of age and a lot of people would put my long single life down as my being gay. But I have never been gay and am not gay. But people are people, they sin, no one is without sin. So I think I was the brunt of homophobia and suffered for it. My mind and heart suffered. I was tormented in words. Words in my heart and mind.
I find homosexuality an odd and strange sexual orientation. When I perceive it in my surroundings amongst people who are in my area of space I find gayness irritating and perverse. I can even perceive people who are gay. My insight is really now very much in a lot of light. My wisdom in Christ is now very strong. But as I said I have in the past been in the dark where my insight and wisdom in God was at its lowest. But I see a lot now a days.
I love being straight, (I have always been straight), I love being married, I love my wife, I love being mature, I love being a heterosexual BUT I sympathise with gays. Terrible things have been done to gays.
My being single a long time has taught me the value of having a wife but it has also taught me about how I can be discriminated against as a possible gay man. I find gayness perverse, I have never been with a male. I think all gays need to come out of the closet and not hide their sexuality. Be brave. I hate being thought of as gay because I am not gay but I think gays should have the benefit of the doubt. We should not discriminate against gays. Let them be.
I am a homophobic but I think most heterosexuals are homophobic, we think “is he gay, is she gay”, we want so much not to be thought of as gay.
Human beings can be so bad. We are evil. We carry evil in our hearts. The more we try and be good the more evil will try and take us over. So to be good we must remember that in being good that we have to be aware of the evil and not fall victim to evil desires. Evil flourishes in this world as weeds flourish in the fields. Weeds will always be there. Weeds are no good. Weeds will keep on growing, be aware of them, we can not eat weeds; we eat of the good vines, the fruit, the vegetables, the wheat, barley and so on. We can not always get rid of all the weeds, when they get weeded out more come. Life is not meant to be easy.
I love the Spirit of Understanding.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


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