Mental Health Problems

I was at my Church Ministers manse home (about 1981). I was being taught the fundamentals of Christianity, I was new to the faith and was getting prepared for a later Church (adult) water baptism. Getting prepared for baptism was more about a theoretical induction in to the teachings of Christ and what baptism was all about. I was in the Ministers house study room.

The Minister took a phone call. The Minister picked up the phone and spoke. This is where a very strange phenomenon took place. The Minister was speaking to someone on the phone but the strange thing was that the Ministers words sounded like they were directly coming in my heart. Wow. It was like the Minister was speaking inside my heart. Wow. It was all so wow. How can this man speak from inside my heart? And so clear, and so audible, yet there was no mistake I was listening to this man from my heart, in my heart. This has never happened to me before.

After the phone call the Minister said he was taking me to the hospital. I like a follower just went along with the idea. I believed that this Minister knew what he was doing. We attended the Wellington (NZ) General Hospital. I was put in a room, a mask connected to a cylinder was put over my mouth. I stayed here a short time, I presume the gas I was breathing was oxygen. I was next taken to a room where a few doctors were, I said very little, then I was transferred to the psychiatric wing of this hospital. I saw little of the Minister for a while then he would visit regularly. Church people visited. Christians visited. For days I stayed in bed mostly sleeping.

We had group therapy sessions. Sometimes these consisted of group discussions or craft times. One group craft session involved each person making a collage of objects together and relating a story about someone else’s character in the group. The nurse leader running this group took it upon herself to describe me. She said that I had a strong spirit helping me, not in those words but the message was the same.

After a week or so I was asked to attend a session by myself. They took me to a small room. They said that the large glass mirror was a one way viewing and the people could see me but I could not see them. They said a number of medical staff presumably doctors maybe trainee doctors were on the other side. I did not mind. They asked me one question. The people on the other side could hear me too. The question was “What does a rolling stone gathers no moss mean”? I had never heard of this question. I really did not know how to answer. I tried to come up with a answer but on hindsight now I think my understanding then was lame.

A few years or was it less after I left this hospital I contacted this hospital to ask to view my hospital notes. This is allowed. There is a freedom of information act. The notes were not much, the notes did say I had little insight. Just the little insight nothing else of value.

I had become saved, a saved soul and on the way to enlightenment. I was given a gift, a Spiritual gift to help me now. I learnt nothing from man. Man’s wisdom was nothing to me. Satan and his women were trying to pervert the world and they had their tentacles in to me. I was now on the way up. Away from this perverted world and Satan’s hold over me. I had the Spirit of understanding. The Holy Spirit of understanding. Over time the light of God fused more in to me. I studied the bible scriptures. I learnt off by heart 60 bible verses. I then tried to learn up to 100 bible verses off by heart, it was hard. 100 verses I did not keep up but I kept my 60 verses under my cap quite well. I kept up bible verse memory for many many years. I kept regularly repeating these verses. I don’t know them all now off by heart I do know only some now.

My mental health was recovering, I was getting more insight over time. I never did recover all together and even now I take medication. I don’t know if I have as such a mental illness but time will tell. I know the meaning of the question “What does a rolling stone gathers no moss mean”? but it did not come to me for a while. I understand now. I see now. I hear now. My heart understands. Few people can relate to my experience in coming to God or God coming to me. The traditionalist Christians would call me a “Born again” and the born agains would call me religious. In my Christian life I have identified with a person Spirit in my heart (I have seen Him, true) who looks like a Minister, He has a board cap on His head, He wears a black nightie over His clothes, He has a Priests dog collar. So yes the born agains have given me a bad time at times. The born agains hate the Minister Spirit and would call Him religious and even a demon. Religious to born agains is akin to the Devil. I don’t know if this Minister Spirit is the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Wisdom. I do know that spiritual gifts come from the Holy Spirit. Do you call the Holy Spirit who gives the gift of Wisdom, the Holy Spirit of Wisdom? Ministers of God could have the gift of Wisdom. But I was called a Chief Prophet (true) so what does a Minister have in connection with a Prophet calling? Am I a wise Prophet?

I never quite came out of my shell altogether for years. It was like I had shell shock. Did the Devil in my formative years give me shell shock? I grappled with mental health. God helped but it was only when I married that I became more confident.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.



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