Sincere disbelief in God; is there such a thing. It sounds negative to me.

I have thought on God today. I don’t know if it’s in answer to minds combatting against my mind in the current cosmos of thinking at this time but my thoughts are troubled and looking for solutions. 
My thoughts as they are now:
There are two kinds of Christians. The traditionalist and the born again. I am myself born again. You reach out to God through tradition or by being born again. The Born Agains are like the prodigals and the traditionalists are like the other son who stayed with God.
So what is a Born Again? The Born Again goes through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. He or she dies to their old self to take on the new self of Jesus Christ. The born again is like crucified. In their death they die to all their sins and generational sins. Their generational sins are their ancestors sins. 
What is the Traditionalist? He or she have Godly parents. Their parents live in God. Their parents don’t wilful sin. Their parents believe in God. The traditionalist grows up in a Godly family where God is respected. These people are born not in sin whereas the born again is born in sin. The traditionalist might go to church and attend Sunday school when they are young. The traditionalist might only go to church when they are young and leave all sense of religion when they are of adult age. The born again comes from a irreligious family and may have never attended church when they were growing up. The born agains parents too would have avoided anything religious. 
I am BORN AGAIN. I don’t like throwing the words born again around like its a fad. I experience the pain inside of dying to myself. I am feeling the pain of crucifixion 24/7. The traditionalist is not being crucified. The traditionalist was not born in sin. The born again is dying to the old sinful man and being made in to a new creation. The born again goes through a conversion. The traditionalist is like he she might say born in to the church and maybe rightly so. The traditionalist goes through an infant baptism whereas the born again is baptised as a teen or adult when they realise that they are sinners and repent. The born again comes in to the church or to be exact the body of Christ when they acknowledge their sins and are truly repentant. The saying goes “Choose your parents well”. But I think we can not choose what parents we have. 
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


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