Sir would like water?
Bring it on.

What type sir?

Water water.

But sir what type?

Is there a type now a days?

Yes there is sir.

Dear don’t make trouble.

Gladys I was only asking.

Dear be nice to the waiter.


My name is Bruce sir.

Bruce tell me what types of water are there.

Sir we have the top of the house, spring water from the Swiss alps.

How much?

The cost is only $7 a bottle. 

Rather steep is it not?

For the more budget minded we have Spring water from Australia.

How much? 

$4 a bottle sir.

That’s better.

And sir we have the budget of budget water, recycled sewage water. 


Sir it is quite nice. The Government stands by the clean recycled sewage water. 

Bahh. Not for me. But how much?

Just $2 a bottle. But sir seniors get a concession on the recycled sewage water. 

You think I am a senior?

I mean you are a more mature person.

Dear stop irritating the man. Excuse my husband Bruce.

Sir and madam have senior cards?

Bruce, my husband and I do have senior cards.

That’s recycled water at $1 a bottle sir and madam.

I will not drink someone’s waste water, bring two bottles of Australian spring water. 

Now food. I want something simple. Eggs on toast. 

Sir what type of eggs?

What!!! Eggs!

But sir, free range or cage?

In my youth eggs were eggs. 

Sir free range are more expensive.

Two free range eggs on toast. 


The same as my husband thank you Bruce.

Bruce where is the toilet?

What type sir?

Type of toilet? 

Sir we have seven types of toilet services at this restaurant. 

What are they?

We have unisex that’s ladies and men together. Transgender to male. Transgender to female. Homosexual. Lesbian. Male. Female. 

That’s a lot. 

Yes it’s Government regulations. 

How do you pay for it all?

We have a 10% toilet surcharge on your bill sir.

Never mind I can hold.

(The waiter leaves the table)

Gladys I will be back soon I am just going outside to the back carpark for a quick slash. Its dark no one will see me. I can not work myself around this restaurant toilet maze. 

Ok dear you know best.

Best!!! I just know life is getting so complicated. I believe life started simple but man makes complex. 

Yes dear. You know best.
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


Tags: ,

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: