(Whistle blows).Captain on deck.

(Salutes all around).

Jeffries Sir, I can take you to your cabin.

Crickey no. I want to drive this thing. Take me to the wheel.

Well Sir we don’t actually have a wheel now, most of the driving is done electronically and digitally.

What ever, just steer me to the driving seat.

Follow me Sir.

(In the driving room)

This my seat?

All yours Sir.

(Trump sits down and swings the chair around for a while).

Well? Let’s get some steam up I want power.

Sir it’s not steam, we are a nuclear powered aircraft carrier.

Ok nuke up this machine.

(Orders are given by staff and the carrier gets ready to be sea worthy).

Hey you.

Me Sir?

Yer get me a hamburger and chips.

But Sir I am a commodore I don’t do food errands.

What about you can you get me some food?

Sir your cabin assistant will be here soon and he will get your orders from the kitchen.

Now where’s the key?

Key Sir?

Yer, look I am not stupid I have driven before.


I have many cars.

Sir, aircraft carriers are different from cars.

Sir the nuclear reactor is online.

Well come on let’s get going.

Sir we use this console, it’s computer driven and we have electronically given the computer a segment of your voice. The computer will take your instructions. But you need to give it commands that it will already recognise. Say your name in full and go. 

Computer I am Donald Trump, take us out of the harbour. Where is my hamburger?

Sir the computer will disregard any words not programmed in to it so the burger request will be ignored by the computer.

I like the wheel better. 

Sir we are leaving the harbour.

This is fun.

Hey what’s that?

Sir it looks like a pleasure craft.

What! I see someone with a long rod, it looks like a rifle. 

No Sir they are fishing.

You question my intelligence?

No Sir.

That’s a gun. We need to go in to evasive tactics.

What do you mean Sir?

We need fire power. What guns do we have?

But Sir?

I am the commander in chief on this vessel. What am I?

Commander in chief.

This is my ship.

But Sir.

The people voted me to command this boat. Now where’s the gun controls?

Sir the computer takes your commands.

Computer fire on that boat out there near our ship.

Sir Sir you don’t know what you are asking.

(A nuclear armed missile fires off from the carrier and destroys the pleasure craft).

Sir we have to go in to lock down to protect all crew from the effects of radiation.

Go ahead. Now all that was not hard. Computer take us back to our port.

(A large mushroom cloud rises up over the ocean in to the air high up near the carrier).

The weather does not look good.

Sir that is a cloud caused by the nuclear armed missile.

Look get my tuxedo ready I have a party on tonight on shore.

Sir I will take you to your cabin and you can change.

This job is looking up.


Will the USA Presidential race pendulum swing to the right or will a divine hand hold the pendulum hand just once more to the left? The hand of the pendulum would in ordinary times now swing to the right but these are not ordinary times these are super ordinary times. 
Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.


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