Order! order! everyone.
Now where are we up to? Oh yes item 4.
(At a global conference for psychiatrists)
Item 4 says “God complex”. We know that God is in need of mind healing. Has anyone any suggestions.
I have a suggestion.
Your name please.
Mr Riley.
Ok Mr Riley what is your suggestion?
I suggest we send a psychiatrist to heaven to heal God.
First are we all in agreement that God has a mental illness. A show of hands please. That’s most of us.
Excuse me.
I don’t believe in God.
You are a minority here sir, just about all present here believe in God.
Ok go on,
Mr Riley back to you, could you please elaborate on your suggestion of sending a psychiatrist to heaven.
It’s simple really. One of us can go.
And how does this one of us get to heaven?
Easy. Just kill one of us.
What!!! That’s preposterous we can not kill a person. Are you out of your mind.
No sir I am not.
Ahem ahem ahem.
What is it? You sir have something important to say.
Yes I do. My name is Mr Blair and I support Mr Riley’s suggestion.
You accept killing someone.
Yes I do. But we kill by administering drugs. It will be totally painless.
Ok ok say it works who will go?
I will.
Who said that?
Your name sir.
Mr Clark.
Mr Clark will you honestly let someone administer drugs to you that will kill you?
Yes I will.
You realise Mr Clark this could be a one way journey and we can not guarantee that you will go to heaven and meet God.
I will take that chance.
Why Mr Clark? Why would you want to go to God?
I have been thinking about this for a long time. I see God has gone nutters. Gods not well. God needs our healing treatment.
Ok Mr Clark let’s say we kill you, you go to heaven and meet God; what then?
I propose I do some psychotherapy on God. I can not minister drugs to God because I can not take anything to heaven with me.
Ok ok. Anyone else with any suggestions?
Over here. My names Mr Bisset.
Yes Mr Bisset you have the floor.
I think psychotherapy on God is a good idea. I believe we need to psychoanalyse God. God is maybe repressing anger and other emotions from the past. We need to go back even as far as God’s childhood. There may also be relational problems between God and his son JESUS Christ.
All sounds good. But when do we go with this?
I say tonight.
Mr Clark are you sure?
Yes I am sure. I am the one to go.
Yes true it is urgent. God seems to be out of his tree.
So I am going tonight.
Ok everyone in agreement; a show of hands please. It’s done. It’s a goer.
Now the drugs.
It’s ok I have access to the necessary drugs. I know what to take. I am a doctor.
Please a round of applause for Mr Clark.
Let’s move on. It getting late. Item 5. The CHRIST complex. We have a lot of our patients deluded by God into having a CHRIST complex.
Your name.
Mr Smith.
You have the floor Mr Smith.
This CHRIST complex is Gods way of taking over the world.
Mr Smith how do you think God will achieve this takeover?
God is very clever. He’s more clever than all us here. God programmes people’s minds into having the mind of his son JESUS Christ.
Ok what can we do to stop God taking over? Mr Smith any ideas?
Yes drugs.
Sorry we have to stop there. The time is 5pm. Dinner is in the hotel dining room at 6pm. We carry on tomorrow 9am sharp from where we left off. Thank you ladies and Gentleman for your time.

Editor’s note: For the unenlightened the CHRIST complex is not possible. CHRIST is simplex not a complex. Psychiatrists psychoanalyse their patients unravelling people’s complexes trying to get people’s minds back to simplex. Complexes are like knotty balls. The CHRIST simplex is the sanest mind there is. If CHRIST is simplex then God is simplex.

Yours Sincerely; Lester John Murray.



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