The Second Coming – Jesus tries out for an interview

[Knock knock]

Come in. Oh it’s you Mr. Christ [Mr. Smithers thinks – His name is familiar but I can not put a finger on it] you are well on time, good, take a seat.

Thank you.

Would you like a drink of tea or coffee?

No thank you I am fine.

Ok let’s start. You know me from our telephone conversation. Now on my left is Miss. Maiseypie and on my right is Mr. Jenkins.

Hello.

Hello.

Mr. Christ lets begin with your qualifications.

Call me by my first name if you like.

And that is.

Jesus.

Ok Jesus [Mr. Smithers thinks – His name gets more familiar but I just can not put a finger on it] please enlighten us to your qualifications.

I trained as a carpenter under my step father. During this training I also at times attended the synagogue learning the books on Jewish law and Jewish wisdom.

And when was that?

It was in my youth years quite a many years ago. It was when I came to this earth on my first trip.

[Mr. Smithers thinks – This chap has been in outer space]

So you were born above [Mr. Smithers is referring to the colony on the moon].

Yes I was originally from above but I was also born on this earth.
Let’s get to the point this is getting confusing where were you born?

For your sakes for the job interview I was born in Israel.

Let me sum this up so far you are a Jew born in Israel and you are trained to be a carpenter.

For the sake of this interview yes.

Interview or not am I correct.

Yes you are.

As you know the job vacancy entails very little skills. Have you cleaned toilets before?

Many times.

Where?

In my first trip to earth I lived in a home for 30 years that had a toilet. I often cleaned that toilet.

So your parents work in outer space.

You could say that.

Well do they or do they not.

Yes they do.

You only provided one written reference a reference from your Father. Is your Dad available to come and see us?

No He is above and you cannot see Him.

[Mr. Smithers thinks – Golly this mans Dad must have a very important job in space control].

Now Jesus how is your health? All up to scratch.

Yes I am in top form.

Anything we should know about.

Kids used to tease me at school about my hearing voices.

What? You hear voices.

Dad told me I hear people’s thoughts.

Do you hear our thoughts?

Yes I do.

And what am I thinking?

Sorry Sir I can not say.

Why not?

A lady is present.

Have you been to a doctor about these voices?

Yes.

What did the doctor do?

He prescribed me medication.

But Jesus you said you were all healthy.

I am.

I think we have heard enough to make a judgment about whether you are suitable for the job.

But before you go please what do you want to do when you get older?

I want to be a king.

Well please wait outside close the door and we will call you in when we are ready.

[Jesus waits outside in the waiting room]

The man is obviously mentally impaired. He hears voices and is deluded about been a king.

Do not be too harsh on the man. It is not as if the job needs much skill.

Skill or no skill I am married with 3 lovely children. I do not want a man that is nutters running around with a toilet brush in his hand.

Oh Mr. Smithers are you not over dramatising it all.

Jenkins what do you think? Mr. Jenkins! Wake up.

What is it home time?

Not yet?

What do you think about this Christ man?

The balls in your court Smithers you are the boss I agree with what you say.

So it’s agreed we do not employ him. I tell him that he is over qualified for the job. All agree.

Yes.

Yes.

[Jesus is called back in to the interview room]

Jesus we have come to a consensus. We believe that you are too overly qualified for the job. We wish you well in your future job prospects. By the way your name seems to ring a bell but I can not put a finger on it. Is one of your relative’s famous maybe an actor?

None of my relatives is in acting. I will see my own way out. Bye.

Bye Jesus.

Come on Jenkins wake up home time.

Home good.

Dad I missed out on another job.

I know Son. As I said my kingdom is not of this world.

Yes Dad your kingdom is within.

Kind regards; Lester John Murray.

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