Heaven or Hell

Move along please.

Stop pushing me. You have a nerve.

What’s the problem?

This man behind me was pushing me.

Ok be a bit more considerate.

And who might you be?

Peter is my name.

Well Peter this lady is blocking my view I can not see much ahead. All I see is this bright light.

Tell him to stop it Peter.

What is that bright light?

You do not know? Where have you been hanging out?

Hey I was just driving my car and bang and I am here in this queue. What are all these people doing here?

Such gross ignorance you know nothing. You are lined up to see God.

God ha ha ha and I am Mary Poppins.

Peter tell him.

Move along please.


Lady this gentleman will find out soon.

[Mean while at the front of the queue]

Peter Peter

Yes Lord sorry Lord there were problems down the queue.

I have been a good person I have given to charity many times I worked all my life to please you God.

Angels bring it up on the screen. That’s enough.

Please God I worked hard all my life.

Worked? Who for? Not for me. You say one thing and the screen says another thing.

I went to church.

That’s good but why?

Well good people go to church.

The screen says that you went to church only on Xmas and Easter times. That’s twice a year. Angels is this lady in the Book of Life?

No Lord her name is not there.

Peter help me.

Follow me. Now these two men will look after you.

Who are you?

We are angels.

Oh that’s good.

Not really we are bad angels.

You mean you are not God’s angels?


You are Satan’s angels?


Down this corridor here we are you go through this door.

[The angels open the door and push the woman through it]

[Mean while back in the queue]

Lord I have loved you all my life. I was in rotary I was a city councillor I was on the local school committee.

Stop there.

But Lord there is so much more to tell you.

What about?

About all my good works.

I have not seen any good works from you your mouth says one thing and your heart says another thing.


But Lord.


[The next person comes up]

Look there must be some mistake.

Peter is there some mistake.

No mistake this man says he does not believe in you.

Let’s go straight to the book of life. Angels is his name there.

Yes My Lord.

Erase it.

Yes My Lord.

Look I must be in a dream God does not exist. There is no proof of a God.

My Lord this man has written countless books denying you.

Take him away.

All a dream.

Take him evil angels.

Stop touching me. Stop touching me!!

How can we touch you if it’s a dream?

I want my lawyer.


I want my lawyer now right now you do not know who you are dealing with I know people.

Yer. You will know a lot more people very soon.

[The door opens to hell]

Gross what evil.

Yer it smells bad but you will get used to it.

How long will I be in there?

Don’t ask.

[Mean while back at the queue]

What’s that gross smell?

Seems like it coming from that door down there. I have seen people go down there.

It’s gross.

Quiet please.

Excuse me do you know who you are talking to in that bad manner.

Look lady I am just doing my job.

Well please do it somewhere else. I have been waiting for ages tell who ever is in charge here to hurry it up. Who is in charge here?


Young man God is only for Sunday school stories. My husband is a very important man in the city. Please why am I here?

I am Peter and you are in line to see God.

Utter nonsense!!

What were you doing before you were in this line?

I was swimming in the sea.


I got in to a rip in the water. Look this is going no where I want to phone my husband.


Yes My Lord.

Excuse me The Lord wants me.

But my phone call.

Not now.

[At the front of the queue]

Lord this is Lester.

My Lord Lester’s name is in the Book of Life.

Welcome Lester.

Kind regards; Lester John Murray.


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