Hotel Paradise

Hello, hello.

Sorry Sir the lines are not good.

Did you get my request.

Yes Sir you wanted two tickets to heaven for this Friday. Can you wait on  and I will check on the computer. Sorry Sir we do not have a heaven on the computer. Can you hold on and I will try again. Sir we do have a hell will that do.

hell!  hell! over my dead body.

Hold on Sir we have a Paradise coming up on the computer will that do.

Of course that will do. Heaven is Paradise.

So that’s two tickets to Paradise.

Yes yes yes.

Is that return Sir.

Are you joking with me; of course it’s one way.

Would Sir like accommodation booked.

I do not know. Does one have accommodation in Paradise.

Yes they do Sir.

Okay a room for two it is.

I have the Hotel Paradise come up on my screen.

Book it please and a room looking at the clouds.  

Done Sir. How many nights would Sir like to be booked in at the Hotel.

Are you kidding.

Okay Sir I will book three days and you book the rest when you get there.

Fine with me.

Could Sir pick up and pay for the tickets at the Bus Port 30 minutes before your bus departure.

Hey does one pay to go to Paradise.

Yes Sir it is standard practice.

Okay okay bye.

Thank you Sir for using Paradise Travel Tours Limited.

[Gertrude and John have just arrived at the Bus Port; they have their tickets and are ready to board the Bus]

Come on Gertrude get on the Bus we can not keep Saint Peter waiting.

There’s our seats; I am going to take a nap; wake me up when we get to Heaven.

Okay dear.

[bus arrives at the town of Paradise two hours later]

Dear wake up we have arrived.

Arrived where dear?

At Heaven.

Oh yes I was forgetting myself there for a bit.

Sir I have had your bags taken in to the Hotel.   

Thank you driver.

Come on Gertrude.

Coming dear.

Now where is Saint Peter?

That looks like him over there; are you Peter.

Yes I am Sir I am Peter the concierge.

Good where’s the Lord?

You mean the Manager; he is not here; he will be back on Monday.

Can I meet Luke; James; Paul and Mark.

They are here Sir; they are with a group football team.

What football team; never mind can I meet them. 

You can meet them at dinner time in the dining room. 

Sir a call has come through for you; take the phone in the booth over there.

Thank you. Gertrude it’s Brian. Yes Brian; what Brian; ok Brian.

What is it John?

Brian says to come home immediately.

Why dear?

Brian says that we have been deceived by the Devil and that we are in Hell and not Heaven. Brian should know; he’s our son and he has a university degree.

Come on dear the bus is leaving in 10 minutes; grab the bags lets go.

Returning with us Sir.

You bet we are. Get us out of Hell.

[nutter the driver mumbles to himself]

Take your seats we are off.

John have you taken your dementia tablet yet.

Not yet I will take it now.

Taken it; I feel better now.

You take a nap dear and I will wake you up when we get home.

Wake up dear we are home.

That tablet must have really put me to sleep.

It did dear and Brian is here and he is fuming.

Hi son.

Dad you must take your tablets regularly in future. This is the fourth time that you have gone a wandering because you did not take your tablets.

Ok son please take us both back to the rest home.

Dad you and Mum will get to Heaven in God’s timing not your own.

God’s timing it is.

Kind regards; Lester John Murray.


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